um hi, my friend wants to know if you think im hot
*dude puts his mouth around his bros dick* bro, im not actually gay unless i suck it. i never sucked it. its a metaphor, see: you put the dick right between your teeth, but you dont blow it. a metaphor bro
We can only be friends if you’re kind of an asshole. Not full blown asshole because that’s no fun. And if you’re not an asshole at all then that won’t work either. A halfway asshole. Those are my kind of people.
when u walk away from ur computer but forget ur wearing earphones
Imagine if we lived in a world where you could see the exact date when everyone is going to die except for yourself
And then one day people start acting nice to you. Like, really nice.
write a book
things that will always sound sarcastic
- good for you
- thanks a lot
- yeah right
- nice to know
- way to go
- ok buddy